A year where, due to a slip of the tongue, I accidentally christened Brian and Gillian – Brillian during their ceremony, much to their amusement and all of their guests. They’ve told me since they use it as a nickname! A year full of so much originality – Nicola and John’s fab idea to have their rings passed around their friends and family to be blessed by their well wishes, before they exchanged them. And Tracey and Nathan walking down the aisle with their five children, whilst all their guests sang ‘That’s Amore.’ Such a great way to start a ceremony. There was such much originality I could be here all day…

Brillian - courtesy of Andreas Holm photography

So what do I have to look forward to this year? In a few weeks’ time, I’ll be marrying a gorgeous couple in what I have previously been calling a winter wedding but with the beautiful sunshine that we’ve been enjoying on the Costa del Sol, they’ll hopefully be nothing wintery about it.

Soon I’ll be heading to the UK to marry Lisa and James, who were guests at a wedding I did in 2010 and decided to fly me over for their own wedding in Sussex. Very much looking forward to marrying them and hoping the British weather is good to us all.

There is still much more in the pipeline…there’s something about January that makes couples get their skates on and start finalising all their wedding plans. So here’s to them and the year to come….

I have had some amazing weddings this summer already and even more to look forward to, including a sparkly, big international wedding at the Ritz in Madrid and a pantomime themed winter wedding in December!

I’ve been spoilt by presiding over some of the most beautiful and heartfelt ceremonies I’ve ever done and hearing some of the most emotive vows I have ever heard and somehow I have managed to steel myself (just!) when the couples and their families are in tears!

I’ve had so much originality to enjoy, too. Mark and Anthony’s wonderful gift exchange (go to my facebook page to see the beautiful wording), Rebecca and Jon’s brilliant ‘I love you despite/I love you because’ quotes that they wrote to each other, Nicole and John’s all-singing, all-dancing country bonanza of a wedding, and Beatriz and Jonny’s sand ceremony using sand from Asturias (Beatriz’s home area) and from Portrush (Jonny’s home area). And that’s just to name a few.

This summer has seen a lot of ‘firsts’ too.

I married Ana and Silvia in my first ever Spanish ceremony. I quite often do bilingual (Spanish-English) ceremonies, but this was a first just in Spanish! It was truly wonderful to hear such positive and amazing comments from their guests who had only ever been to Catholic weddings! Ana and Silvia have told me that the word is now going around that beautiful, personalized, non-religious ceremonies in Spanish do exist, so watch this space!

I married my first ever Russian couple, in English may I add (apart from being called Natasha, that’s as much Russian as I know!). Although only the bride and groom and a few friends could understand English, the ceremony was extremely passionate and everyone understood the meaning and the emotion, which seemed to translate quite effortlessly.

I married my first groom in uniform (him, not me). A serving officer in the army, he proudly wore his uniform to marry his bride, which really added to the intimacy of the ceremony and made it all that more special, knowing that soon after he was going back to Afghanistan.

I had my first wedding in a castle; that was exciting. Up in the tower, with views of a beautiful lake and the Spanish countryside.

And my first ever ceremony, where the bride and groom walked down the aisle together with their guests singing ‘That’s Amore’. Never before have I seen wedding guests used as processional musicians and it was totally fantastic. Such a brilliant way to start the ceremony.

So many weddings, I wish I could discuss them all, but that would make this a novel and not the blog it is supposed to be.

Here’s to my remaining weddings of the year!

So far, I’ve been lucky enough to witness a beautiful poem written by the bride for her groom, vows that had every single guest in tears, a sand-mixing ceremony using sand from the Guadalfeo River in Granada, a place very special to the bride and groom and an extract from a Van Morrison song said as a reading, the list goes on!

And now I’m looking forward to forthcoming ceremonies where for example, The Beatles ‘All you need is love’ is going to be sung by the guests during the ceremony, one couple are going to do a gift exchange to symbolize that they are offering all they possess to one another and in another ceremony I’ll be going dressed in pantomine-theme to suit the whole wedding event, which is in the same style!

Oh what fun it is to be a wedding celebrant…

A vow renewal means you can do all the things you didn't do the first time around. Photo by Becky Sharpe Photography

One couple I performed a ceremony for a few years ago, were celebrating ten years of marriage. They had met when one of them had an interview at the others’ office and ten weeks later they were married! They had very few family or friends at their wedding and so wanted to use their ten year anniversary to reaffirm their vows in front of all of their friends and relatives. Last year, I performed a ceremony for another couple who had only been married for three years, but again had not had many people present at their original ceremony. So they took the opportunity of a family holiday in Spain to renew their vows and celebrate with all their loved ones.

A vow renewal is a chance to re-confirm your love to your partner. Photo by Talia Giraudo

There are no rules for when to have a vow renewal. It does not have to mark a specific anniversary or date. I have done ceremonies to celebrate seven years of marriage, twenty-two years of marriage and just recently, one year! It’s about the couple making a decision to have a vow renewal ceremony because they feel it’s something they want to do and because they feel it’s the right time to do it.

Here are some reasons for a vow renewal ceremony;

• You only got married in a civil/registry office ceremony before, and now want a ceremony, which has more meaning and sentiment
• Your first wedding had some element of disaster and you want recreate a nicer day
• You didn’t have much money for your first wedding and you want a more elaborate wedding
• You got married with only a few people present and you’d like to say wedding vows in front family and friends
• You’ve had some difficult times in your relationship, and would now like to reaffirm your commitment to one another
• You think it would be romantic
• Or simply you want to celebrate your marriage and have a good old knees up, too!

Whatever the reason for a vow renewal ceremony, the main thing to remember is that it is your way to express your love, commitment and respect for your partner in the manner of your choosing. Sometimes, we take our relationships for granted and forget the beautiful things that being in a partnership has created. Sometimes we forget how inspiring our partners are to us, and forget about the little, silly things that made us fall in love with them in the first place. A vow renewal ceremony can help us to remember. Above all, marriage is an achievement, and something to be proud of and celebrated whenever you can, how ever long you’ve been married!

Top tip number one – Use a wedding planner
The internet is a wonderful thing and for any couples getting married in Spain it is a useful resource in finding suppliers and getting ideas for weddings, BUT and it is a big BUT, as much as you may be able to pull everything together before you arrive, on the big day itself, you will find you will be too busy yourself to oversee all of your plans.I have been to weddings where there has been no planner present and although the couple did a great job with bringing everything together, on the wedding day itself it was quite stressful for them, trying not only to get themselves ready but to co-ordinate their friends and family to help them ensure that everything ran smoothly. I have also been to weddings where an hour and a half beforehand, the bride has been hanging up decorations and telling the band where to set up, when really she should have been up in her room, with her girlfriends enjoying a glass of cava. Wedding planners take care of all of this. They think of things you will not even think of, or be aware of and if any issues do arise they will deal with them without you even knowing or needing to know. During the summer, they are at weddings on a weekly basis, whereas you are only at your own wedding once, so take advantage of their experience, attention to detail, exhaustive list of contacts and knowledge of the area that they have.

Top tip number two – Use a professional photographer
Everyone knows someone who is a photographer! And although it may at first seem handy to have a guest at your wedding who can also take a good picture or who is a photographer, there is a big difference between asking them to take your pictures and asking a professional wedding photographer. Firstly, your relationship with a professional photographer is just that, professional. They are there to take pictures on your behalf, because you have paid them to do so. They will get the pictures you want and the pictures you didn’t even know were possible. Like wedding planners, they spend most of their lives at weddings. They know what shots to look for and they know where to position themselves to get them. Also, they live here, so they know about the Spanish weather, the light and whatever else they need to know for taking a good picture, which clearly I don’t! The last thing you want is to get in a mood with your guest/friend/photographer who is busy dancing and stuffing his face with cake, when you wanted a picture of you dancing and stuffing your face with cake! That’s why you should use a photographer, to ensure you get the quality mementos that you deserve for your big day.

Top tip number three – Use a hair and make-up artist
Even if you always do your own hair and make up, it doesn’t mean you should do it on your wedding day. Your wedding day is a chance for you to relax, be pampered and have people to run around after you all day and having your hair and make up done professionally falls into this category. Again, as with the photographers and wedding planners, hair and make-up artists live and breathe Spain. They know how to do your make-up and style your hair to bear well with the weather and sun-light conditions that we have here and how to accentuate your best qualities for your photographs. Wedding hair and make-up is a specialist art form, and you should take advantage of the wealth of experience that they have, so that you look the best you can on your wedding day.

Top tip number four – Use a DJ/wedding entertainer
A Wedding DJ is so much more than a man in a bad shirt dancing behind his turntables (sorry to all my DJ friends out there, there is a compliment in that quote!) Yes, I-pods have revolutionised the way we listen to music, but it doesn’t always mean it’s the best option for a wedding. A good DJ knows how to go with the rhythm of the evening. He knows when to get everyone up on the floor and with what songs to do it with. I can say this from personal experience because I had music played from an I-pod at my wedding and if my cousin’s boyfriend who is a DJ didn’t step in, our evening could have fallen flat around us. For example, songs that you love listening to or love singing along to, doesn’t mean they are great songs to dance to and good DJs are well aware of that and will work with you to play the songs that you want, as well as stuff that they know will get people on the dance floor. Also, who is going to control your music for the start of your ceremony, end of the ceremony, your first dance etc? That trusted friend, who is supposed to be a guest at your wedding or a professional DJ?

Top tip number five – Use your time to research well and book early
Every year there seems to be certain dates that are in demand. For me, this year seems to be June 25th and September 24th. I’m sure my wedding colleagues have their own dates they are constantly asked about! If you do your research early and you find someone you like the look of, book them. This year I have had to disappoint quite a few couples who although they had admitted to coming across me early in their research, they waited only a few months before their wedding to book me, without joy and I know this is the same for many of my colleagues. If you have a date in mind, and have found the venue/wedding planner/photographer/hair and make up artists/DJ/wedding celebrant etc that you like the look of and are happy with the service that they can provide, book them. Don’t hang around, because you could be disappointed and not get your first choice. There are so many amazing suppliers here in all fields and you’ll be surprised how quickly they get snapped up.

And as you’re already reading this blog, you might as well check out my useful links page for details of some of the ace suppliers I work with and maybe help you think about other options such as musicians, florists, cake makers etc. Happy planning!

You can of course having a wedding in Spain and not have any of the above, yet still have a wonderful day – this simply is a guide for those who feel their day may be a stressful one (due to size, distance, whatever the reason!) and may prefer a helping hand!

My very good friends who had come to Spain to celebrate their ten year wedding anniversary and a 40th birthday, stayed with us for a few days before leaving for Seville. The day before their anniversary, I asked them if they wanted to renew their vows in a vow renewal ceremony (the thought just sprung into my head) and they did not hesitate in saying ‘yes’.

The groom's idea of a sip during the wine ceremony

And it really was special.

As I got busy putting the ceremony together, they busied themselves writing their vows and their meaning of marriage and finding inspirational texts that they wanted to read to each other. They needed no guidance from me, when you have what they have, for as long as they’ve had it, words of love and togetherness come very easily.

I then pretended to be a wedding planner (something I would not want to repeat any time soon!) and went about decorating the ceremonial table in the garden with candles and fans. We set the ceremony for 3pm but because I was being planner and celebrant in one, I was still writing my script at half past. Eventually, at 4.15pm once everyone was dressed in their best outfits they had, we began the ceremony.

The aisle-way was a long walk around the side of the swimming pool, the music was played from my laptop, my husband was the photographer and my three dogs were ushers/spectators/nuisances, and it was all fab. It did not matter that the sky was slightly grey or that the dogs started to preen themselves during the ceremony (and I’m putting that nicely) or that the canapes were crisps and olives and the Cava cost less than two euros. All that mattered were the promises and the beautiful words that Sarah and Barry offered to each other and their genuine love and commitment to each other.

What it all boils down to at the end of the day!

This ceremony really was a lesson in reminding us all that amongst the important decisions and plans to be made for the special day, the ceremony is really the heart of the matter and the very reason for the celebration itself and all the frills that go with it.

Yesterday, I helped a wife say goodbye to her husband in the most uplifting, dignified and beautiful way possible and although it was an occasion full of sadness, it was also complete with laughter and wonderful memories. With two heartfelt tributes written and read by close family members and music, handpicked to celebrate the life of the deceased, it was a fitting way to honour the passing of someone so special and dear to the family and friends who have been left behind.

A funeral is already by nature a solemn occasion, so it is my belief as with other Humanists that we must do what we can to see the positive side of death and honour and celebrate someone’s life, through music, the telling of stories and eulogies, poems and beautiful readings and anything else that people feel captures their love and respect for their loved ones.

None of us can evade death, but we can take comfort in knowing that on our departure we can be remembered, commemorated and celebrated by our family and friends, with the knowledge that we will live on in their hearts and minds.

This is in my dreams only!  Sorry if I had you fooled there for a few seconds! As we already know, they’ve stuck with tradition and are having their grand nuptials, full of pomp and circ at the beautiful but very cold Westminster Abbey and to be conducted by the Archbishop of Canterbury. That hasn’t stopped me however, from imaging that they have decided to come to Spain for a blessing and have chosen me to be their Wedding Celebrant. So with this idea in mind, I have put together my fantasy ceremony of how I would marry them, given the chance!

Kate and William's official engagement picture: Copyright Mario Testino

Venue
Although I think there are many amazing wedding venues here on the Costa del Sol; Hacienda San Jose, Los Monteros, The Marbella Club, Finca la Concepcion, just to name a few, I think Villa Padierna in Marbella, would probably be the most fitting for the Royal wedding. It combines luxury and grandeur with a feeling of tranquility and intimacy. Also, in terms of practicalities, the sheer size of it alone, would satisfy the requirements of not only the Royal family but all of the visiting dignitaries, celebrities and other VIPs who would be in town for the wedding.

Pre- Ceremony
I usually arrive an hour before a wedding to make sure everything is in place and to organise myself and the ceremonial area. However, I think on this occasion, I would arrive at Villa Padierna the day before, in order to give Kate and William and their undoubtedly vast area of flowergirls, pageboys, bridesmaids, maid of honour and William’s supporter (when one is royalty, one does not have a best man,  one has a supporter!) a good run through of the proceedings. I don’t usually do this, as it isn’t necessary but seeing that the Royal wedding is going to be more of a ‘show’ than an actual ‘wedding ceremony’, it would require lots of planning and run-throughs. I would also have a long chat with Kate’s dad Michael to make sure he is prepared for his ‘giving away’ role. He does come across as a very confident man, but it’s the confident ones that usually crumble!!

Wedding Music
I am sure Kate would like to have some traditional classical processional music, like Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major or Bach’s Air on a G string, which both are beautiful and striking pieces. But why not for the recessional music have something a bit more uplifting? I could definitely see Prince William bopping back up the aisle to Bob Marley’s ‘One Love’ or Heavy D and Boyz ‘Now That We’ve Found Love.’ And during the ceremony, wouldn’t it be great to see Beyonce and a gospel choir performing Ave Maria? They could certainly afford to have her.

The Royal Vows
I think it would be nice if Kate and William had two sets of wedding vows. The first would be this question vow;

‘Do you Catherine Elizabeth Middleton now choose Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales to be your husband, to share your life openly with him, to speak truthfully and lovingly to him, to accept him as he is and delight in who he is becoming, to respect his uniqueness, encourage his fulfillment, and compassionately support him through all the changes of your years together?’

And Kate would reply ‘I do.’ (Of course). I would then ask the same to Prince William but interchanging the names (of course).

Then William and Kate would make their own pledges to each other. For me, some of the nicest pledges are ones which are reflective of the couple in question and which add a touch of humour. Vows are of course a serious declaration but this does not mean that they have to be solemn and boring. I would love to hear Kate say,

‘William, on this special day, I pledge to love, honour and respect you, not only because you’ll be the future King of England but because I love you for just being you, the person who I know and love, when all the airs and graces and formalities have been stripped away and it’s just the two of us. And I will continue to love you for the rest of our lives, even though you’re likely to be bald before you turn thirty!’

I would love to hear that vow! And for William to say,

‘Kate, I love you for all that you are, all that you were and all that you will be and cannot wait to see your transformation form commoner to the future Queen. You will bring a new dimension to my life. Our two worlds, although very different, we will take the best of both of them and create a new, stronger, kinder and loving one. Together, we will face the world – the Prince and the Pauper!

Okay, so I am being really silly now but wouldn’t it be so nice for them to say their own vows to each other, instead of the vows that the Archbishop might pen for them? Why would he write the vows at all? He’s not the one pledging them!! I hope they will be given the chance to say the vows that they would like to say and not what he thinks they should say.

Start your marriage by acknowledging the bitter and sweet things in life, and make a toast to face the challenges together

Ceremonial rituals
Symbolic rituals like, the sand ceremony, rose ceremony and Arras coin ceremony really add to the significance and personalisation of the ceremony. As both Kate and William have been known to enjoy a glass of vino or two and have been pictured staggering out of nightclubs more than once, I think the wine ceremony may be quite apt for them. If drinking wine (or alcohol in general) is something that the couple enjoy doing then using wine is a beautiful way to celebrate both the bitter and sweet aspects of life, just as there are bitter and sweet properties in wine. Kate and William’s wedding is in danger of being made into a fairytale event by the media and their hours and hours of coverage of it. However, the reality is that their wedding day will be the same as everyone else’s – it is the start of their marriage and a marriage whether it is a Royal one or not, has its ups and downs and its moments of bitterness and sweetness. Therefore,  a wine ceremony can be a great way to start your marriage by acknowledging your good and bad qualities and accepting to face any difficulties together.

Oh, I so wish this ceremony was really going to happen!

Good luck to both Kate Middleton and Prince William on April 29th, even if I’m not doing their ceremony!

Long live the newlyweds. Copyright Mario Testino

Being on the cusp of your big day however, does not mean it is time to panic or fill with dread. If you’ve been super-organised, got your suppliers onboard and your venue in place, then you should have nothing to worry about!

Looking forward to conducting a ceremony at the stunning Villa Padierna in Marbella

As usual, I have many fantastic weddings and beautiful venues to look forward to this year. Just to mention a few, there’ll be Lorena and Dennis’ big international wedding at the stunning Villa Padierna, which was well and truly put on the map last summer by Michelle Obama’s presidential visit, Gracie and Matthew’s ceremony at the gorgeous Hacienda de San Jose and a long journey all the way down to El Puerto de Santa Maria, past Cadiz for Jami and Mike’s intimate Spanish wedding, which I’m sure will be absolutely worth the trek. And I’m looking forward to two ceremonies I have at El Cortijo Bravo, a wonderful boutique hotel, I’ve not had the pleasure of visiting yet.

To those of you, who are planning on getting married this year and have not quite got everything in place, I would encourage you not to hang around. We have a brilliant wedding industry here on the Costa del Sol, offering some of the best suppliers in a wide variety of fields. So although good things may come to those who wait, in my books good things are not always available for those who wait! So don’t leave it too long to get your wedding ball rolling.

To many happy weddings in 2011!

Talia Giraudo

This one sums up how much fun the bride and groom had on their day!

I just love it! Can't say more than that!

This picture, for me, beautifully captures the genuine warmth that the bride and groom felt for their wedding planners, Michael and Laura from Andalucia Weddings

Kris McGuirk

I love this picture because it looks like they are in Hawaii or somewhere exotic and far flung - but they aren't! They are right here in the good old Costa del Sol

I may not have understood her Dutch vows but this picture captures how emotional they were!

I do love this picture of Fritz the dog wandering around like nobody's business. He was very well behaved, indeed. Kris actually took some fab ones of Fritz by himself, but I don't have them

Claus Mikosch

I absolutely love this little pinch of love and reassurance - this really is a case of a picture speaking a thousand words!

Great effect!

Love it!

Becky Sharpe

The groom received this text from his bride, reminding him of his vows, shortly before the ceremony and was convinced that he was supposed to have memorized them! But he hadn't! Luckily, when I arrived, I reassured him that I was going to prompt him, so he didn't need to know it off by heart. Poor thing was petrified. Great to see a picture of the text, though!.

Her face says it all. Ah!

Great shot!

Jeremy Standley

The trees have eyes!

A lovely family shot.

Gary Tapp

The groom awaits his bride

The little one watches mummy and daddy tie the knot. Ah!

Beautiful

Thank you to all the photographers for allowing me to use their images.